CIW 2013 Speaker Capricia Marshall, former chief of protocol at the White House, knows a thing or two about being a generous host. From 2009 to 2013, she was the first person to greet kings, queens, ambassadors and other heads of state as they arrived in the United States: She was the hand that welcomed the world. We’ve compiled some of our favorite tips and quotes from her CIW 2013 Edison Talk—tips that will help you keep the peace in your own household, and beyond. 

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1. Give thoughtful gifts.

“We had learned that Prince Charles is a great environmentalist. [We gave him] a little bit of White House honey, and he said, ‘Oh, White House honey! Oh, how lovely. I make honey too on my grounds.’ And then Prince Philip joined in, ‘Well I have honey, too. I have honey out there.’ So it became a bit of a honey-off around the table.”

2. Have a sense of humor.

“[Falling down the stairs] was the gift that kept on giving. Every time we went to the North Portico the president would be standing right behind me, and he’d whisper in my ear, ‘Will she go down or will she stay up? We may not know…’ And Mrs. Obama was right behind him saying, “Barack stop it, leave her alone!’”

3. Be flexible, even during formal moments.

Marshall recalls a time when President Barack Obama was giving a speech in the rain and a military aide was holding the umbrella so that it simultaneously soaked the president and his notes. Marshall flew into action. “I scooted up the back staircase, went up behind the military aide, grabbed him by the hips and gave him a nice nudge forward, so then the umbrella was over the president’s remarks, and he could continue on with his speech to the world.”

4. Bring people together over food.

“We brought in chefs from around the country to talk about our great American cuisine. [Chinese] Vice President Xi Jinping was so honored that we had brought in this chef to honor him on this visit.”

5. Create new traditions, but keep the old.

“How could we use our diplomatic tools to engage with the world even more? We took the ambassadors outside Washington, D.C. to showcase the greatness of our country. But we didn’t want to only showcase the greatness of our nation. We wanted to show the ink spots so that we could engage in a conversation of how we dealt with those.”

6. Start diplomacy young.

“We invited children from various embassies to talk to public schoolchildren in Washington, D.C. about their culture and learning more, having this wonderful exchange with one another.”

7. Anyone can be an ambassador.

“Each of you can be ambassadors. Each of you can engage in cultural exchange. Meet someone from a different country and ask them about what’s special about their culture.”